Day 3
It is very important to know about interpersonal relationships. What keeps them going and what really disturbs them. Interpersonal relationships get disturbed, when disagreement begins. As long as there is agreement, they don't get disturbed at all.
So what disturbs a relationship? Disagreement. Now, take a look at yourself. Have you always agreed with yourself? You all have not agreed. You had an idea yesterday and today, you have a different idea.
Five years back, you had different ideas, and they did not necessarily agree with the ideas, you have today. So, when you can have a disagreement with yourself, why not with someone else, next to you?
The person, with whom you have a disagreement, is just an old photocopy of your own self, a copy of your old self - or maybe even a new copy. What you disagree with today, you may agree on, three years from now.
So, you need to take a look at your own thought patterns and your emotional patterns. As you know, there is a rhythm in nature. Isn't it? At particular times, seasons come, and then nature responds.
Similarly, you know, we have several rhythms in our system. There is a rhythm in the body; there is a bio-rhythm - e.g. hunger and all those other things. There is a rhythm in the thought patterns.
If you observe your patterns - your thought patterns - you will find, there is a rhythm there. Similarly, there is a rhythm in the emotions and our breath. And finally, there is a rhythm in the consciousness - the soul - that we are.
We need to find harmony between all these rhythms within us, and that is called spirituality. Spirituality is not just fantasizing. It is observing own existence. What is here right now? Our body is here right now - but have we known our body, thoroughly?
You can know another's body, but have you experienced your own body? Experiencing your own body, your breath, your mind, your emotions, and the source of your life, is meditation. Meditation is experiencing the life-force, or being conscious of the life force and it's not done with effort.
It is something that is done effortlessly. I'd say that the mind and the body function on completely opposite laws. In the realm of the mind, effortlessness is the key. You cannot remember something, if you put effort into it- but the moment you relax, the memory comes back.
Creativity, intelligence and memory - all these faculties within us happen effortlessly. However, you can only build muscles, when you put in effort. You go to a gym and when there is no pain, there is no gain.
Or these days, it's the reverse - when there is no pain, there is no loss. If you have to lose your tummy, you have to work out, so no pain - no loss. Are you all with me, as I am speaking? Are you all listening? How are you listening? The sounds come, and fall on your eardrums, but if the mind is elsewhere, can you hear me?
Audience - No.
You are listening, through that faculty in you, that's called the "mind". Are you looking at me? If your mind is elsewhere, you can't see. You are seeing, smelling and hearing. The perceptual ability of consciousness - we call, the mind.
As I am speaking, you are agreeing or disagreeing. Are you agreeing? Are you saying, "Yes"? Are you aware, you are saying, "Yes"? Or, are you saying, "No"? Are you aware you are saying, "No"?
The intellect is something, by which, we say, "Yes" or "No" Yes? No? The same consciousness functions as mann (mind), buddhi (intellect), chitta (memory) and ahankaara (ego). These four different antahkaran chadushtaya, are what our ancient people called, the four different faculties.
So similarly, if you observe the memory, you will see that our memory clings onto something negative. Yow'll forget all the ten compliments, you received, but the one insult, you got, sticks in the mind.
This tendency of the mind needs to be reversed and the process of reversing this tendency of the mind, from clinging to the negative, to moving to something positive, is called "yoga". The technology or process is called yoga. Isn't it so essential?
What does it do? Yoga makes you like a baby again. It not only revives your nature, but it also makes your heart young, and keeps your mind, young and bright. Yoga improves perception, observation and expression.
So, coming back to interpersonal relationships. You have to have a relationship with yourself. What is your relationship with yourself? Your relationship with yourself, is what is called integrity, and if you have no relationship with yourself, that is called a lack of integrity.
Being informal is another thing that will keep your interpersonal relationships strong. Informality is the giving of space for mistakes to happen. In any relationship, in any situation, you can't expect perfection - there will be flaws.
However, if your mind is vast, big and accommodative of all situations, then your relationship does not get disturbed at all, otherwise, you become an emotional yo-yo - unstable. Do you see what I am saying?
Today, one of the biggest problems with the world is emotional instability. So, when we create an informal outlook, and a cordial environment around us, then, that will grease the friction and you will be the master of your environment and not feel helpless about what is happening around you.
