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๐บ ASHTAVAKRA GITA๐บ
๐ฟChapter - 10๐ฟ
~ Storms Of Emotion ~
๐ฑ Day - 53 ๐ฑ
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Life is found to be caught up in storms so very often. And you are not yourself when you are in a storm. You don't know what to do. At those moments all your practices, concepts, ideas and ideals fall apart. Your devotion, your love and all the beautiful things you cherish in your life, simply don't seem to be there or mean anything. You are under the influence of a big storm. A whirlwind rises in you and throws you off balance. Even when the storm has subsided, the very memory of it disturbs you even more. What do you do? Nothing is helpful. You sit, close your eyes and try to meditate. But the mind is all over the place. You feel as though you are in a burning furnace, and you don't know how to put the fire out. It's like a burning Kuwaiti oil well in you. And the more effort you make to cool it down, and put it out, the more the fire burns, the more the restlessness and agitation increase.
You are only yourself between the storms. How many storms rise in your life, and how frequently do they rise? The less frequent they are, the more you are yourself. At those moments you are happy; you are settled. You are calm. Just think of those moments of intense restlessness, agitation and feverishness. The breath becomes heavier. The body becomes unbearable. You are not at all aware of the mind. But that is not what you are. You get a glimpse of the clearness of yourself between two storms. But life seems to be like the ocean - wave after wave lashing you one after another. What do you do? You do Kriya. Breathe in and breathe out. There may be some relief but still... So you read and you listen to knowledge talks. Even that is not entering the head, because the mind is in the whirlpool of the storm. Nothing enters it.
This is the only problem. This is the only basic problem in the universe. There is no other problem. You can attach it to one thousand causes or reasons, but the problem is how to free your life from this storm which has gripped it. The first thing to do is to become aware of this. At that moment, the storm will subside. First, stop regretting things. It is nature. Waves come and, for no reason, there is turmoil in the mind. When your mind cools down and you experience that inner cool, soft and delicate aspect of yourself, there is a big relief. You would have experienced this is life. In the storm, all the feverishness of 'what should I do, what do I want', all the desires, anxieties, fears and ideas loosen their grip on you. No one storm can be there all the time. It is impossible. It comes and subsides. Then another comes and subsides. Another comes and subsides. Your mind is like a wind - a whirlwind, subsiding and cooling down. That is your nature. That is love.
Janaka suddenly said, 'Aho! That's so surprising to me! I have been resisting restlessness all this time. Now I see it is there. Okay, so let it be there. It is a part of nature.' The storm is also part of nature. Stop resisting storm. Take it, full it in its totality; go deep into it and see it is nothing. It is just created out if yourself, your mind and your consciousness. In that aspect of you, you are your Self.
And that is why the sadhana and meditation has to be done. That is the purpose of ashram. An ashram is a place where you come and get a deep rest; where all efforts and strains of the mind, heart and body drop. You get a deep rest. All fears and insecurities drop. You know there is a power, some power; someone who is really caring for you. Not just someone there is only One in the whole universe. They One in the universe is caring and taking care of you. You can relax, rest and be peaceful. A place where the storm can cool down and the fire can be put out.
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