Chapter 1, Verse 40
ula-kṣaye praṇaśyanti
kula-dharmāḥ sanātanāḥ
dharme naṣṭe kulaṁ kṛtsnam
adharmo’bhibhavaty-uta
In the annihilation of the family, the eternal traditions of the family are
destroyed; in the collapse of traditions, lawlessness overcomes the
whole family.
There was a custom handed down from generation to generation which helped
to maintain a high standard of conduct in the family and prevented men and women
from going astray. Here is this verse, Arjuna says that it’s important to hold tight to that
custom, otherwise “lawlessness overcomes the whole family.”
You see, in ancient times, the elders of the family were treated with great respect.
Whenever people had any questions, they would always go to the elders of the family.
Since there was great respect, whatever the elders said was always accepted. Arjuna
continues, “This tradition will end and there will be corruption in the family. There will
be no virtue. The incentives which compel man to stay on the path of virtue and avoid
sin will be gone. These virtues are: fear of God; command of the scriptures; fear of
violation of the family traditions and state laws; fear of physical injury. When these
traditions end, even the respect for God is not there! And if we don’t show respect
to others, how will we expect others to respect us? If we can’t respect the law of the
country, then the whole country will be in chaos. If out of fear of injury, one starts
killing, where is the good in this? Everything starts with the family.”
Arjuna is focusing on how important it is for everyone in the family to do their
duty. “If one person is doing adharma, it also affects all the people around you. And
when the people around are affected, it affects all the surroundings.”
Once there was a man giving a discourse. He was talking and he had a great
regret inside of him. They asked him, “Why do you have this regret?” He said, “I
regret one thing in my life: I have not changed myself. When I was young, I was very enthusiastic and in this enthusiasm, I wanted to change the world. So I tried to change my town. I tried, tried, and tried, but after some time, I could not. For years, I tried to change my friends, but I could not. Then I tried to change my family. I tried for many
years, but I could not. Finally, I was left completely alone.
“In my loneliness, I realised that I couldn’t change anybody but myself. Now that I
have seen this, I am looking at the world and see that time is running out. I don’t have
much time left. If I would have first changed myself, this would have automatically
made an impact on my family, it would have made an impact on my friends, on the surroundings and on the town. I wanted so much to change everybody else, but not
myself.”
You can’t change others. Once you change yourself, everybody else will change.
Bhagavad Gita
