Chapter 1, Verse 31
nimittāni ca paśyāmi
viparītāni kesava
na ca śreyo'nupaśyāmi
hatvā svajanam āhave
I am not able to stand and my mind seems to be whirling; also I see evil omens, O Keshava.
The word nimittāni means omens. It was like an eclipse shaking the earth. Arjuna said, "I see omens which are not good, but evil. I don't comprehend it. My mind is turning and I can't stand." He was looking at all the inauspiciousness, saying that all that would happen would not be good. In his mind, he already saw that this war would bring unhappiness. He would not feel happy killing his brothers. "If I kill them, there will be lots of violence. And if I kill them with violence, this will be a big pressure on me and I will repent. I will live with a guilty feeling my whole life because I have killed my brothers, uncles and grandfathers. How could I live my life like this? The guilt will always play in my mind." Arjuna was already thinking before the war how he would feel afterwards. He was not concentrating on what he should do in the present. He was focusing on what might be afterwards. In his mind and in his heart, he knew that the Pandavas would win. He knew that they would be victorious and that all the Kauravas would be annihilated.
But he was already taking the side of the guilty feeling in his heart. He was letting guilt awaken - especially in his mind. He said, "My mind is whirling. dizzy and turning."
He lamented, "In their absence, life will be miserable, life will not have any purpose. Bhishma gives us joy. He is our great leader. We all look up to him. Once he is dead, to whom shall I look?" This is how life is. People always look at others as examples, not knowing that they have to look at themselves. They have to become an example themselves. We take the example from others so that we can change. We take the example from leaders, so that we can become leaders. We take the example from Masters, so that we can become Masters. You study under teachers at school; maybe one day you will also become a teacher. Of course, you have to perfect yourself in that, then you become a leader or a teacher. You don't go into your weakness.
Thinking that life without his relatives would be terrible, Arjuna said, "How
could I kill? By slaying them, who will profit? Nobody will profit from it." Inside his mind, he was already creating a story. The mind is always running ahead, creating a certain reality. And this certain reality was awakening negative feelings inside of him. At that moment, he forgot that he was there as a warrior. He forgot what the Kauravas had done to his wife. He forgot what they had done to them throughout their entire lives. That's why he said, "I don't feel that we should fight."
Bhagavad Gita
