The long journey of pregnancy is really amazing and this is the time when people advice lots of things and at times even well intentioned ones can scare or upset the pregnant mom. Since pregnancy always invites people for conversation, it is not always that you will engage in something without offending the person before you. While there are plenty of people who know how to remain polite, there are many who can make the pregnant lady cry. So, before you indulge yourself in a conversation and for greater awareness here are some tips on what not to say to the lady to avoid offending her.
Things not to say to pregnant women
Was your baby planned?
Is it really important to know whether the baby is planned or an unplanned one. If your friend tells you about her pregnancy, it is simply because she is excited about it and does not want to be questioned regarding the pregnancy policy. Simply congratulate her.
Are you sure you should eat and drink that?
What a pregnant lady eats should not be your business. She already has a list from her doctor asking her to avoid many things or limit them in quantities. So allow her to have the freedom with the rest of the food and have trust in her.
What is your preference – a boy or a girl?
Unless the expecting mom wishes to disclose that she prefers one gender over the other, simply assume that it is fine with her and she doesn’t care much about it. Leave it with her and wish her a healthy baby.
You look tired and exhausted
This sort of remarks does not show that you are concerned about the pregnant lady, but it may be discouraging. It is natural for a pregnant woman to look tired as there is a new person growing within her. Encourage her and help her to enjoy the pregnancy period.
Are you gaining proper weight?
Many people have the tendency to judge the mother by the pounds she has gathered. They guess that the naturally slender are not so immune and think that the growth of the baby is less and this makes her worry about it. You should always remember that everyone carries differently and allow her doctor to worry about her weight gain. Make her feel good every time you see her.
Can I feel your baby?
This question can put a pregnant lady in an uncomfortable situation if she wants to maintain her privacy. If her baby is kicking and she wants you to feel, she will ask you, so allow her to take the decision comfortably.
Will you continue with your job after childbirth?
This is the question that most people ask working mothers. Don’t suggest her what to do and what not to do, simply make sure to ask with an open mind. Don’t assume that a mother who rejoins her work is selfish and does not care for the child. Respect her decision.
Do you plan to have more kids?
It may be her first baby and when someone asks if you wish to have more, it’s simply ridiculous. Some couples plan to have big families while others may wish to keep it small. Couples preferring to have only one child has grown at a high rate in the past few years and so leave this decision to them.
Summary
There are lots of inappropriate things that people may say to a pregnant lady. Even if the comments may have good intentions, at times they may be rude, especially when it comes from strangers. So, know what to say a pregnant woman that can make her feel happy and comfortable.
- Sri Eswaran
