This is Anuj Khanijau from Mumbai. I did my first AOL course in January, 2005. From being a firm non believer till I met Guruji in 2003, to date : it has been a journey that even I find difficult to fathom. For some unknown reason, even though reluctant to carry on, I kept continuing the practices, on account of my commitment to the teacher during the course. Again reluctantly, my legs started pulling me onto one Advance (Part 2) course after the other. I knew I was losing control and Someone was taking over, but for a weird reason, I did not mind this happening, right to the point of walking into a TTC (Teacher’s Training Course)!!! Probably it was only a few months back that I realized the true value of letting go of control! My mother, who is a devotee since 2001, and also the one responsible for getting me hooked on, had gone for some work to Dadar (Mumbai), where she suddenly collapsed. I was not around, but another colleague with her rushed her to a close-by hospital. When I reached, the Doctor informed me that something was not right, as the ECG was varying constantly and indicated a heart blockage. Days went by and tests continued, till I was informed by the Doctor, one fine day, that she would require an angioplasty on an immediate basis due to a suspected blockage. Without even bothering to go to the hospital, I decided to reach back home to try and connect to Guruji. I knew a Prayer was enough, but the mortal mind demanded a more tangible conversation. So I dropped in an email to Guruji with a simple ask : “You know the best way forward. Please take control.” As I penned it down, I had a mixed feeling of contentment along with a sudden realization; well I did not need to tell Him this. He already knew everything and would do the best for me. Its exactly what has been happening all these years. My mind required this event to bring down this Knowledge to me. A feeling of Stupidity and Gratitude reigned simultaneously, and nothing seemed to bother me any more. Tests happened the next morning and at 1 pm came the reports, along with a call from the Doctor to her cabin. This is what she had to say: “Your mother is a fit young lady. Her heart valves are as strong as that of a teenager. How does she manage to keep it that way!” Surprise overtook the emotion of stupidity from the previous night. But Gratitude reigned more than anything. I could not believe my ears! I mean, did the Doctor get a memory loss after the previous nights’ conversation or was I hallucinating? She seemed to remember nothing from her stern and urgent tone last night. It was all a great Miracle:) When I look back, I remember His words: “Mysterious are the ways of the Divine” If people ask me: “Why do Sadhna?”, my answer is simple, “I don’t know, just do it!!!” Just let go of all your controls and let Him take over. Trust your Master. He will never let you down! For me, it’s my connection with Him that no one can break. It’s a space that I get to share with Him, my own Personal and Private space, and who would not want that. Thank you Gurudev.
- Anuj Khanijau
