Day 7
Dana, that is surrender. Surrender is the most misunderstood word in the world today. Surrender is not slaverv. surrender Is not something vou can force upon someone, surrender Is a happening.
Surrender happens out of love, gratitude and trust. When there is fear, drop the fear. The dropping of the fear happens with the trust, and that is surrender. If doubt still remains, do nothing, just watch.
Breathe, meditate. That will clear your doubts out. There is no other way to come out of your doubt. Four types of doubt will arise in your mind. The first doubt is about yourself, ‘Don't think this is for me. There is still time for me. I think I should go very slowly. Maybe it is not the right time’.
‘It doesn't suit me at all, I am not the person for it. I can never have it. I have my old patterns. I will never come out of it’. These things, doubting the very self, doubting your ability - what do you know about your ability?
You have no knowledge about your ability. So you doubt your own abilities. And there is doubt about the technique. "Is this technique approved by so-and-so? Is this technique proper? Is this from some tradition? Is it a right technique? Will it do some harm to me?"
You doubt the very technique.
And then there is doubting the teacher. This teacher says, "Watch the breath, be aware" And we think, "Is he aware? Is he watching the breath? He doesn't seem to be doing that, he seems to be watching us" You doubt the teacher.
And, finally, there is doubting your success, doubting your own experience. There was a gentleman who came to one of the courses. He was confused about everything. I asked, "What experience did you have?"
"I don't know," he said. I asked, "Okay, did you have good rest?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "Are you tired?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "There could be only one thing, either you are tired or you are rested" He said, "I don't know." I asked, "Are you here?"
He said, "I don't know." The real joke is that he did not even know that he was there. I said, "You are enlightened. You take it from me." Doubting whether you had that experience; "Is it true or not. Is it my imagination or what is it?
Will I be able to achieve success?" This is doubting the experience. These four doubts can hamper our progress. And when these doubts come in the mind, then surrender that mind. Drop it, "Okay, I am going to give up the very mind." It is such a weight on your head.
About judging - How can you judge? You judge from your own consciousness, from your own state of awareness. So whatever you see in the other person, you are seeing in yourself. A person who was very egoistic, fought with everybody else.
He came and told me, "Gurudev, you have collected all big egos around you." I said, "How did you know that? You are seeing yourself in other people. You are egoistic and you see everybody else is egoistic.
Okay, I understand if one person is egoistic, two are egoistic, or three. But if you find all the people around me egoistic, it is your own ego." And he was known for his egoistic nature. The mind sees through its own eye.
You can trust anything in the world except your doubting mind. It will doubt you. When such a thing comes, dropping that is called surrender, dropping the judgements. Dana (giving), the second aspect of inner growth, is very important.
Giving includes forgiving also. Without surrender and without love, your meditation will be dry. You can learn one hundred and one techniques. You can go on collecting technique after technique.
People say, "Oh, I know this technique. I have done this before." Anything you are doing again, which you feel you have done before, you have never done. When you do some-thing, it should appear fresh. Every day you are new.
Love makes your practice fresh and new. It is love which nourishes, pushes forward your technique, your progress, your growth. You don't say when you love somebody, "Oh, it is an old love I am experiencing today. I have loved for so many years. It has become old and stale."
There is one thing that is ever fresh and new. That is love. Any technique you do, do it with love. Even if you simply hold a stick, love the stick in front of you. It is your breath. Love is very essential. Your memory can block and arrest your love.
When your mind wanders around, allow it to go. Don't try to hold it back. Don't try to force it. Where it goes, let it go. Follow it and bring it back. This is Dana, forgiving. Not saying, "Oh, my mind is full of nonsense. I am sick and tired of my mind. My mind makes me feel jealous and I don't want it. It is very bad"
Don't start hating your mind. Forgive your mind. Say, "It is out of ignorance that my mind is going into such stupid things." Then you are not creating a fight with your mind. In most of our problems, the main problem is that we fight with our mind.
Now comes Bheda. Bheda - differentiate, separate the imperishable from the perishable. This very body is so hollow and so empty. We never realised before that inside our body there is so much emptiness.
The whole body could be put into a small envelope. When you are watching the body, pleasant sensations arise, unpleasant sensations arise. As you watch, they all disappear. Enlightenment is not just having some sensation.
What has happened? Many people go and do different types of kundalini. They try here, there, raising this chakra, raising that chakra. What are they doing? They are just playing with some sensations. You can do it with acupuncture.
Acupuncturists will put needles in different places. You can yell and shout and have the energy move up and down. It has some utility in the sense that it energises you. It puts your mind a little bit in the present moment. But that's all.
Nothing beyond that. It doesn't give you the knowledge of your self, your being, which is space, emptiness and the fullness.
