My Mum suffers from old age and amnesia. Since it was difficult to manage her at home

My Mum suffers from old age and amnesia. Since it was difficult to manage her at home in a small house along with my daughter who is in college and I being a working woman, we had to confine Mum in a Private Clinic. Each day even without a mind, she would say “Jai Guru Deva’ and we always had pictures of Guruji beneath her pillow. We love her and love her more cause there was a guilt of ‘abandoning’.

 

We used to go to her every day yet the vacuum of not having her with us was a load. Last week her health again had signs of concern. But she comes out of it as easily. However, last Monday on 17th Sept, I wrote to Guruji – stating Mum again not well and I surrender myself to you as I do not know what to ask – Just don’t make her suffer. Evening I was with Mum, and my dear friend-cum-Teacher Charu called me. She was returning from an Advanced Course. After chatting generally, she asked about mum. I told her again the same problem. She told me “Dont worry, leave it to HIM. Remember even if her body goes, she is going to be around you and with you. The atma(soul) never dies..” I then asked her why she saying this because I had written to Guruji that very morning. She said maybe ‘Guruji wants me to convey this to you..’ That was Monday around 7.00 PM Tuesday morning, 7.30 AM. I got a call from clinic – Mum expired .My world ceased and still is. My oxygen, my life support, my love, my strength, my Mum is no more even before I could reach her ! I am yet devastated. Even in those moments of panic, I reached out to him in distress and told him to be with us in those moments of pain. Since we do not have any male member in our family as support – GURUJI was our only Solace. The connection was amazing. Distance across seven seas did not matter. I was distraught yet HE made me see, feel, realize, WE were not alone. My mum’s body was carried in the van to the Tower of Silence. Just outside the clinic on a lamp-post where the van awaited was a poster, put up that very time of Guruji. Mind you it was not there previous day nor when we rushed in morning. It was sprouted like a mushroom out of nowhere. He was showing us indication ‘I AM WITH YOU’. This is the first indication. Second – I was holding Guru’s picture with me all through the process of mum’s rituals. My daughter and I meditated near her head. My AOL South Bombay family gave great support and wanted to come. However, the rituals and rites of Zoroastrianism is a bit rigid about non-Parsis. And though I was in trauma, I know HE was with me. When Mum’s final journey and body was carried, it was my daughter and myself holding Guru’s photo that we took her on her final destination. Third – evening prayer was at Fire Temple. With heavy heart and burning eyes – I was silently hearing the mantras. After prayer was completed, the priest comes up to me, and asks me, where do AOL satsangs take place ? I thought I was dreaming and in state of shock. But these were his first words, once again reminding me HE was with us in rituals. Fourth – Next day after mum’s departure, I was very lonely. My daughter comes running to me early morning, saying and showing “Mum Guruji has put up your poetry on His Facebook – Guru Codes”. This poem I had written when he was here in Bombay last December ! Fifth – Mum’s Birthday was on Friday 21st. I had great hopes to celebrate as always. However, destiny willed otherwise. To our utter surprise we saw a huge ad in newspaper 'DIVINE SHOP OPENS at Atria mall on 21st September'. It was such a treat to understand HE ensures you are in his mind, heart. You just got to be open. MY MUM STILL IS WITH US ONLY SHE DOES NOT SAY : JAI GURUDEV – SHE HEARS US SAY. The song rang in my ears - "YOUR HOME IS IN MY HEART, WHEN YOU FEELING LONELY, I WILL CARRY YOU ALONG".